I struggle with how much I hate my mother. I actually hate my mother more than I hate jews. To put that in context: I will occasionally, at random, and in public, just kind of shut down for 2-3 seconds and start shaking a little because I thought about how much I hate jews (approximately once every week or so). I can handle this, but the amount that I hate my mother is such that I will instinctively lash out at women who resemble my mother. I will also randomly shut down and shake in hatred of my mother, and this is more frequent (daily). It's getting kinda bad. As I've gotten more physically in shape I can tell that I sometimes just want to punch women who look and act like my mother. Of course, I have enough control over myself that I'm not going to go around punching random women. Regardless, having the urge to do these things at all is not good. I don't know how much you guys are memeing about hate, but I actually do feel quite a lot of it towards some people and I don't really know how to handle the feeling too well - especially in situations where beating the shit out of the thing you hate isn't really viable.

@kerosene@fsebugoutzone.org If I'm in conversations with these women, then it takes moderate force of will to not just yell at them. I can't act naturally around them, otherwise I tell them that they look like a child molester.

@Xenophon@nicecrew.digital There's a difference between "anger" and "hate." I don't actually have any issues with "anger," and it's kinda easy to work out the emotion of "being upset that someone cheated you out of $30" or "being upset that someone cut you off in traffic." I'm struggling with "hate," which is like that but permanent. It doesn't really work itself out with exercise, and it's impossible to forget about it.

@ceo_of_monoeye_dating@lab.nyanide.com I've not ever heard of that reaction to our behated goblins, I can't blame you they really are the worst. I can't tell you how to react with anything though hate to say, I'm an ADHD riddled sperg so my emotions are weird to say the least, for me my anger's the one that's out of wack and has always been. Wish I could be of more help to you.

ceo_of_monoeye_dating - https://lab.nyanide.com/users/ceo_of_monoeye_dating just get over it, that's what I did

@ligma_male@mstdn.starnix.network Getting over being sexually abused as a child typically takes multiple decades. If you're claiming to have "just gotten over" having been molested as a child, then I'm going to disbelieve you.

@Witch_Hunter_Siegfried@clew.lol I think it's a little different for everyone, but in my case, regarding jews, I don't think of meme - I think of real people who have hurt me. So, I think of specific times when jews hurt someone I cared about; I'll like remember them and just kinda suddenly stop and feel intense hate. With my mother it's more common. It's starting to hurt a lot and I want to stop feeling this way.

@ceo_of_monoeye_dating@lab.nyanide.com Makes sense, I'm blessed with the fact that I've never really had to deal with the damn merchants in person. Though online enough makes me hate the few I've knocked into most recently that Danbooru jannie, I feel a sense of hatred for them for a lot of reasons especially for the hell they've wrought, and that fuels a very intense form of hate, for both them and the good goyest generation who destroyed Germany. While I'm not a Gnostic like you per-say I do understand that rationale, and I surley don't feel this place is the result of some good god or whatever the fuck, I just feel it is.

@Witch_Hunter_Siegfried@clew.lol @ceo_of_monoeye_dating@lab.nyanide.com the danbooru jannies sniff shekels?

@ceo_of_monoeye_dating@lab.nyanide.com tbh any woman who looks like what you have described is worth lashing out at

at long last someone who can understand seeing women out in the street, hating them at first sight and feeling the urge to punch and stab them in the face.

@ceo_of_monoeye_dating@lab.nyanide.com I've felt intense hatred for an extended period of time before so I might be able to relate. It twisted my thinking and even undermined my mechanisms to detect this, but caused so much pain it was obviously wrong somehow. It was due to fear and damage going back to childhood. The intense fear of some things seems to be the core of it. It is under control for now so there is no pain or anything seemingly unhealthy, just strong feelings. Reducing the sense of threat seems to allow lasting improvement. If I wasn't still afraid of those people, I think it would go away and heal completely given enough time.

@ceo_of_monoeye_dating@lab.nyanide.com my mother was terrible but I haven't seen her for at least 20 years. Just let it go. She was fucked up and stupid when that happened and it wasn't really her fault, someone else fucked her up a long time ago. Just release it, you don't need to go to her funeral.

@ceo_of_monoeye_dating@lab.nyanide.com Hopefully venting here helps you feel better and keeps you from lashing out in public. Not that these dumb women in public are innocent but they are collateral damage at best in this regard. We are here for you CMD and can take your anger.

I don't want to be around anyone that has an irrational urge to lash out at a stranger. That is psychotic and how serial killers start. You should both seek professional help for your anger issues.

@s8n@posting.lolicon.rocks I mean, yeah, the problem here is not knowing how to actually do that. In my mother's case as well...those things were absolutely her fault. I know my grandfather and grandmother, and it was very clear that they raised her in a normal and loving fashion. Having forgiven people who did bad things when those things weren't really their fault...it's a lot easier when that's the case. >you don't need to go to her funeral. Wasn't going to.

@EdBoatConnoisseur@poa.st These feelings started to develop before I understood that knives are sharp, so I only feel punch.

@KK954@nicecrew.digital @EdBoatConnoisseur@poa.st >You should both seek professional help for your anger issues. I *have* sought professional help. I said "this is what my mother did to me," and before I got to the "feelings" part, I got given instructions on how to commit suicide. I am the most noisy advocate for total therapist death here, and there is a reason for that. Organizations and institutions that claim to exist to help boys and men are largely traps which are designed to hurt vulnerable boys and men. I hate such organizations too, and I am glad to see that our current administration is defunding such things.

@dj@ak.parcero.casa Thanks. I do have enough restraint to not do these things. But I do have the urge, and I do want to not have the urge because it is unpleasant.

@naneko@lab.nyanide.com Interesting. I am in fact still afraid of my mother, and I do a lot of things to keep myself away from her. Even the fact that I'm on places like here and not a namefag on mainstream social media is because I'm afraid of being stalked by her. You think I should try working on not being afraid of her, then? That's far more actionable than any of the other stuff that anyone else has said in this thread, and I can understand this. Thank you.

I don't know what kind of therapy would advise you how to commit suicide, but whatever. Nonetheless, you gave up after one therapist or program? Try another program or person until you find something you feel comfortable with. You obviously have issues you are unable to work out for yourself.

@KK954@nicecrew.digital @EdBoatConnoisseur@poa.st >Be someone with suicide attempts under your belt >Try therapy when you are suffering >Get instructions on how to kys >Talk about this >"Uh try it again" No.

@ceo_of_monoeye_dating@lab.nyanide.com @KK954@nicecrew.digital @EdBoatConnoisseur@poa.st there honestly should be some mental health test to give birth so people don't fuck up the life they are bringing into the world. Shit sucks.

@lnx@poa.st @KK954@nicecrew.digital @EdBoatConnoisseur@poa.st The problem being that the people administering it would be incentivized to make the most fucked up people be the ones who have kids.

@ceo_of_monoeye_dating@lab.nyanide.com >You think I should try working on not being afraid of her, then? Yes. Acting as if you are under the conditions that caused PTSD can reinforce it, such as still needing to fear an abuser.