ever since i read that one 4chan post about ketchup bottles being inspired by horse anuses because they shit in a way that doesn't require wiping their asses, i kinda thought to myself: "is it possible to shit like a horse so i don't need to spend hours wiping my ass because there's always some shitstain after?" so i decided to try and emulate a ketchup bottle with my anus everytime i shat, and ever since then, taking a dump doesn't require anything beyond a single "just to be safe" wipe with no stain on it

@ninja8tyu@varishangout.net Anal bending.

@ninja8tyu@varishangout.net you know there are certain thoughts and knowledge the rest of us are completely fine with not knowing. this is one such case

@ninja8tyu@varishangout.net - https://varishangout.net/users/ninja8tyu @BadFediPosts@lab.nyanide.com - https://lab.nyanide.com/users/BadFediPosts I know I've been tagging you a lot recently, but

@rlier23@varishangout.net yeah, but you save on toilet paper expenses through this knowledge

@rlier23@varishangout.net @ninja8tyu@varishangout.net see whos laughing during the next plandemic

@ninja8tyu@varishangout.net this shit is fake bc i somehow get ketchup on the bottle cap

@Loki@whinge.town skill issue

Or you could just buy a bidet attachment for your toilet and only shit at home, that's what i do.

@EdBoatConnoisseur@poa.st @rlier23@varishangout.net i live with others unfortunately and they are the exact opposite of clean

@EdBoatConnoisseur@poa.st @ninja8tyu@varishangout.net the idea of using a stream of water to clean My ass is something that disturbs me I'll just stick to paper

CORRECT ANSWER. Unless it's an absolute emergency you never ever ever shit in public. Do you really want to trust The most sensitive parts of your body making contact with whatever degenerate was just in there? Not just the germs but what if some fag with AIDS was just on the toilet? Do you really want to put your bare skin on that plastic? Hell no. If it's an absolute emergency you got a hover a thin layer a toilet paper ain't helping. I am not the world's biggest germophob but I am when it comes to public bathrooms they're fucking disgusting. Also if you hook up one of these add on bidets, Hook the water line into the warm water section of your bathroom sink. That way if you run the water for a little bit before using the toilet when you engage the bidet the water will be somewhat warm. To install them you basically run a hose and tee into your sinks water line.

I live with my grandma, my mom only sleeps at this place for like half of the week

@rlier23@varishangout.net @ninja8tyu@varishangout.net you are fine with wiping??

DO NOT SCROLL UP THE THREAD, RW FREN SQUADS

@Cyrillic@lab.nyanide.com @ninja8tyu@varishangout.net yes

Oh shid oh fuck. I had zero interest before but naur I have to What the fuck Litchfield!

NIGGER...... WHAT THE FUCK. OP. WHAT THE FUCK? EVERYONE ELSE IN HERE, WHAT. THE. FUCK.

I made the mistake of looking up the thread so I decided to get you to do it. Also, you have another reason to hate ketchup.

This shows how ahead of the curve I am on my hatred for ketchup.

@catmanmancat@poa.st @EdBoatConnoisseur@poa.st @lichelordgodfrey@poa.st @rlier23@varishangout.net you hate ketchup? why?

You oversharing you every thought, for one

I am against the genocide of tomatoes for corn syrup sugar slop that ruins the taste of good food.

@lichelordgodfrey@poa.st @EdBoatConnoisseur@poa.st @catmanmancat@poa.st @rlier23@varishangout.net every thought?

Did he ever explain how to shit like a horse though?

@catmanmancat@poa.st @EdBoatConnoisseur@poa.st @lichelordgodfrey@poa.st @rlier23@varishangout.net i hate corn syrup too, shit's poisonous and honestly probably why most of america has down syndrome and look retarded

@EdBoatConnoisseur@poa.st @ninja8tyu@varishangout.net @rlier23@varishangout.net I live alone on a small apartment and I'm lonely

I think you already know.

@EdBoatConnoisseur@poa.st @ninja8tyu@varishangout.net @rlier23@varishangout.net makes me remember a little those advanced Japanese toilets

I don't see anything though, you autists just got distracted with katsup instead

@ForbiddenDreamer@poa.st @EdBoatConnoisseur@poa.st @catmanmancat@poa.st @lichelordgodfrey@poa.st @rlier23@varishangout.net because that's how you do it

@catmanmancat@poa.st @EdBoatConnoisseur@poa.st @ninja8tyu@varishangout.net @rlier23@varishangout.net why would you EVER put your ass on a public toilet seat? you know they give you disposable covers for a reason right? and if not, just use tp to cover it

[email protected]@poa.st @lichelordgodfrey@poa.st @ninja8tyu@varishangout.net @catmanmancat@poa.st @rlier23@varishangout.net nope, he in fact did not detail the technique as far as i've read

@EdBoatConnoisseur@poa.st @ForbiddenDreamer@poa.st @catmanmancat@poa.st @lichelordgodfrey@poa.st @rlier23@varishangout.net there's not exactly a point in detailing how i control my sphincter muscles to shit like a horse the best i can do is to say that you just imagine squeezing a ketchup bottle when you shit

@ube@spergia.net @catmanmancat@poa.st @ninja8tyu@varishangout.net @rlier23@varishangout.net if there's no paper covers nor toilet paper just go outside and find some patch of high grass, much cleaner and healthier to shit on some random patch of high grass than on a public toilet, and no i'm not being ironic i'm very serious with this.

@EdBoatConnoisseur@poa.st @catmanmancat@poa.st @ube@spergia.net @rlier23@varishangout.net when you put it like that, i understand why indians shit on the street imagine if a bunch of indians used toilets, whether public or private

@ninja8tyu@varishangout.net @catmanmancat@poa.st @ube@spergia.net @rlier23@varishangout.net then again, shitting on the middle of the street is not the same as shitting on grass, for the grass the shit is good, for the street it is annoying.

@EdBoatConnoisseur@poa.st @catmanmancat@poa.st @ube@spergia.net @rlier23@varishangout.net yeah, but it's indian grass

@ninja8tyu@varishangout.net - https://varishangout.net/users/ninja8tyu this is a terrible post, hope you're happy about it

@AndrewFork@cachapa.cc as happy as i do taking a shit