I just want to apologize to everyone who wanted my friendship and I blew it. I always blamed myself for my best friend's suicide when I was a sophomore in college. He was absolutely a brilliant musician, and he came to visit me at college before he drove off to Maine and hung himself in a tree. I spoke to a friend just now - he says it wasn't my fault. I've blamed myself for 40 years. I thought I was cursed as a friend so I kept everyone at arm's distance. My friend told me to forgive myself. That's why I never kept friendships since the 80s. It was trauma beyond belief. He was my best friend and I was the last person he saw. I've been fucked up since then.